dreamland

I want to see where Harlow goes when she dreams. Apparently it's a pretty fabulous place, because it makes her smile. Her whole face lights up, dimples are revealed and sometimes she sighs. It's a beautiful image contrasted with the rest of her face; her eyes tend to roll back in her head Exorcist-style during REM sleep, freaking her mama out.

Okay, I make light of it only to mask the emotions it wrenches out of my gut everytime I see that smile. I'm jealous of that place she goes to in her dreams because it makes her happy in a way that I'm not able to yet. I know I just have to wait and be patient until she'll start sharing those smiles with me.

She's also hilarous to watch as she nurses. Caleb and I have given a name to her alter ego - Dominique Piglet. The "D" for the French Buster Keaton Dominique Pinon, and Piglet, because she sounds like exactly like a little hooved squealer when's she hungry. She latches on like I was the last soup kitchen on the last block in town and then slowly starts to fade, overloaded on oxytocin, when suddenly she decides she's had enough. She makes a little satisfied grunt, flings herself backwards off of my breast and falls limp into a food coma. She makes me feel like the most appreciated chef on the planet.