Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Comedy and Miss Drama

These photos, taken within seconds of each other, are a pretty spot-on metaphor of my toddler's brain. These days there's just no telling what will make her smile let alone lose all her bones and collapse into a screaming, red-faced, jelly-like mass. Because I would not let her have a second cupcake at Muddy's (I know, bad mommy), she proceeded to scream and try to pinch off sections of my face. I threw her over my shoulder and told the staff that they should take her meltdown as the highest compliment. They both just stared at me, and I suppose, mentally tried to pinch off sections of my face. We stopped in at the grocery store where she continued to moan OW! OW! and thrash as I shoehorned her into the cart, and then she was just done. She turned the darkest shade of red and just screamed. I tried to distract her, tempt her with samples, speed shop and when I tried to wipe her tears, she punched me in the face.


I Mr. Miyagi'd those hands so fast it shocked us both, not to mention the guy next to us in produce who let out a low "whoa." I stood there, my wailing kid's arms clenched in fists, her face awash in tears when I was threatening to start my own. I just felt mortified and tired and wrong. There were no fellow mommy looks of solidarity, no smiles, just people getting the hell out of our way as my shrieking kid and I tried to buy some salmon. And for the love of God, why do they always keep the fish in the furthermost corner of the store?

1 comment:

natalie said...

Our Critter has started with the insane tantrums also. And he JUST figured out that his favorite word is "no." The problem is that when he's that upset, and there's no reason for it, that I start to laugh at him. I'm sure that automatically nominates me for Worst Mother Ever, but at least I leave the room before I actually laugh! Oh, the drama!