Thursday, August 21, 2008

Take My Pets, Please

This day just keeps getting better.

My essay is up at today.

Back in my 20s I LOVED Nerve, the literary smut site that featured naughty horoscopes, I Did It For Science (a.k.a. the best column idea ever) cool photography, and lots of highbrow writers writing not so highbrow things. I even was interviewed by them for their Sex Advice from a (fill in the blank profession) Former Bridesmaid. Well, Nerve grew up and had a baby called Coincidentally I had a baby, too, and some pets and found that our house may not be big enough for all of us.

I wrote about it here.


Stacey Greenberg said...

woot woot! congrats!! and look at all those comments!!!!

RJA said...

Nicely done.

stephanie said...

congratulations! i totally understand where you are coming from. why do our thoughts always turn morbidly evil at 3am? ruby and molly would be on the curb if i had acted on a sleep-deprived idea.

Anonymous said...

I read your article and you really should think twice before being so proud of it.
I think your husband and you are despicable.
You claim to love animals?
You never, ever loved animals if you claim to hate them and can entertain thoughts about giving them away just because of your new, precious baby.
Pets are not fashion-accessories you can just throw away because of something new.
You write you hate your pets.
That tells me everything.
I cannot believe you actually wrote an essay about what a horrible person you are for all the world to see.
Just because pets act like they always do is no reason to start hating them.
If you knew you would want a baby in the future, you should've thought about how you might feel about your pets once your baby came before adopting them.
You are just unbelievable.
Do us all a favor and don't write any essays anymore. You made yourself and your husband look like a total idiot.
Also, don't ever adopt pets again. They'll thank you for it.

Stephanie said...

Wow. I see Anonymous has never heard of satire.

Now Melissa knows what it feels like to have a column in the CA!

Anonymous said...

To Stephanie:

Clearly you haven't written the article thoroughly or you would know it wasn't satire.
Why would that Melissa person write about how their poor pets were left alone for a long time without a petsitter, because they forgot to check in on him/her?
Melissa and her husband don't deserve to have pets, period.

Anonymous said...

I meant: Clearly you haven't read the article thoroughly.