The Kitten a.k.a The Kitten
Fine Attributes include:
destroying any piece of furniture in the house, especially new furniture
drinking out of your water glass, even if you place a heavy book over it and walk away for 30 seconds
eating food off the dining room table
eating food off of the kitchen island
running underfoot as you carry laundry down the stairs
running underfoot while you carry the baby upstairs
purposely tripping you while carrying knives fresh from the dishwasher
crying until you personally escort him to eat his food
perching on the ledge of the tub and staring at you while you try to read a magazine
shedding hair that retains the same texture as spun sugar
hairballs. hairballs. hairballs.
The Donkey a.k.a Murphy
loves to bark while your child attempts to nap
loves to bark while you attempt to nap
will kill the mailman if given the chance
eats the baby's food out of her hands and her lap
"accidentally" runs over the baby while she's on the floor
lunges and barks at children on the street, especially if they are on wheels
appears to be anti-semitic
despite hundreds and hundreds of dollars spent on training, responds to commands only if he feels like it
scratches himself nightly, next to the bed, usually at about 3 AM
when kicked out of the bedroom, will either bark at something imagined or sleep on the people-only couch
The Elder Statesman a.k.a Andy a.k.a 2nd Fattest Cat in LA
craps on the floor of your house, sometimes behind a potted plant. Sometimes in it. Usually just in plain view.
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2 comments:
ha ha...yep...customary scratching and "nesting" in the dog bed a nightly thing around here too. it only took me a year to realize that if i want a nap interrupted, leave the shutters open so that said beasts can bark at anything with legs going by...
wouldn't trade our FOUR greyhounds for anything though!
Pets are dumb.
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